Why Mom Friends Are Important

Hey guys! Thanks for dropping by. I held a poll on my Instastory to figure out what the next blog post (this post) should be.
It was between this topic, the importance of mom friends, and how to stay sane with 2 kids.

Both topics I am super passionate about but I am very excited that this was the one that was chosen and I am really happy about the turnout I got from the poll. You guys are da bomb!

I am going to start by stating that when I first became a mom there were no such things as “mom friends” I was 16 so most of my friends did not have kids so I never thought having mom friends were important. Boyyyyyyyy, was I wrong!! Don’t get me wrong, my friends without kids were awesome but once you and all your friends turn 18 and can officially go clubbing (or Belushi’s in Lawrenceville, GA at 16 LOL- don’t worry, it is closed now) it is tough to just say YES, LET’S GO!! I had a child. I had to ask permission to see if my mom would take care of my son. It was not a burden at all, I don’t want people thinking I hate my children. But it wasn’t a “Hey mom! I’ll be out late tonight, don’t wait up!” It was a “Hey mom, do you think it would be alright if you kept Caleb for the night (because I’d get home at like 3am), I will get all his snacks, food and bottles ready?” BUT STILL have that anxiety of “are people going to think I am a horrible mother for being out with my friends?”. It was tough and as much as I tried to hide it I am sure it showed.
After high school, my best friend (who did not have a kid at the time but was understanding of me having Caleb) and I began hanging out with two other girls from high school that also had kids. I was thrilled!! Finally, someone who knows my struggle. The 4 of us did EVERYTHING together, kids in tow. Unless we were partying but even then I did not feel weird asking my mom to babysit because I knew my friends had to do the same! It was so nice to have friends that understood me and I could understand them. I couldn’t possibly lose them, could I?
I started dating a guy who I honestly thought I was going to marry. OMG GROSS. I know. I cannot possibly even fathom the thought of me thinking of marrying anyone else but my husband. He was the first guy I had a serious relationship with after Caleb’s biological father and he had a decent relationship with Caleb so I thought, this is it! We were together for about 3-4 years. I was insecure, he was jealous but also liked to see other women so it was a very complicated situation. My mom began to hate me because she hated him and so did the rest of my family and I fell out with my best friends for this guy because he assumed my guy best friend was trying to sleep with me at all times and he thought my girl best friend wasn’t a great influence on me because she would ask me to go out and party or go to dinner (FUCKING DINNER). I believed him, I thought he knew what was best for me. How could I? WTF WAS WRONG WITH ME!!!!! Internally I know I was shouting at myself but I couldn’t go against what he wanted. It felt like it was worse to not have him than to have him and be miserable. I lost all of my friends. I lost myself but I had him and I felt like that was my life. THIS MY FRIENDS, is the definition of being trapped.

We FINALLY broke up after I caught him with another woman (again) and I found the strength to throw all his shit out onto the lawn. I was so proud of myself even though I was crying, I was so so freakin proud of myself.

There I was. Alone. With no friends. Just me (and Caleb).

My best guy friend and I have made up and still hang out and talk from time to time. We are both adults trying to get through school and work so that gets in the way of seeing each other every single weekend like we used to. My girl best friend though.. If I could, I would turn it all around. She was is one of the greatest friends anyone could have. I still have her in my life, as an acquaintance, she came to my wedding and I wish there was so much I could tell her because I am so proud of who she is and I always have been. I will get the courage to talk to her soon. I promise.
As Caleb got older and started elementary school I was really exciting to meet some mom friends. I had other friends but I was still missing that aspect of having that bond with someone else. Weird, I know but if you’re a mom you just kinda know what I am talking about.
Caleb’s 5th birthday party was coming up and I was so excited to meet all his friends and their parents for the party. Caleb came home on Wednesday before the party and let me know that one of his friends couldn’t come to the party, I just said okay that’s fine buddy but he was really sad about it. I asked him why was he so sad about this girl not being able to come to his party. He said, “She said she can’t come because her mom said that you are a bad influence because you are too young and don’t have a husband.” *Jaw Drops* What? Was someone judging me for being a young single parent? And even if they were why were they taking it out on my child? The day of Caleb’s party came and no one from school showed up. Luckily, he was not upset because he has a lot of cousins and aunts and uncles who were close to his age too. I just couldn’t believe it. Did they all not come for the same reason? Why didn’t they like me or want to give me a chance? Screw them. I hate moms. I hate other moms because they are so judgmental and I just cannot even fucking deal.

Like yo, I just wanted to get together and chat over alcoholic beverages and talk shit about our kids together… is this not what moms do together?

Funny story is that my coworker is a mom and was a new mom during this time and we got along but we never really hung out outside of work until she left the company. I think we both realized we were more than work friends and really do enjoy each others company. She was my maid of honor in 2017 and we attempt to meet for lunch on Thursdays and we are like 1 for 3 since the start of the year. #MomLife
I didn’t meet another mom friend until Caleb was in 2nd grade. We hung out all the time! She was younger like me and we could bond over not having other mom friends. The next mom friend I met wasn’t until the next year in 3rd grade at the baseball field. We are still friends now and she is about to give birth to her 3rd child any day now. The next mom friend I met was through my baseball mom friend. They were friends and now we are all friends. I have a supportive husband who is friends with their husbands. Now, we are parent friends, family friends because our kids all hang out!
It has gotten easier since then because I found that I can relate to other moms and it doesn’t matter our age or how many kids we have. I have other mom friends now that we all see on occasion and now that I am getting older some of my older friends have started having kids and that is super exciting!

Fast forward to today and this is what me and my mom friends now do:

We sit around enjoying each others company as the kids play, we drink alcoholic beverages, and YES, we talk shit about our kids together. OBVIOUSLY, we talk about all the great things our children do but for the most part it is a time for us to bond. It is a time for us to vent. It is a time for us to talk about things we would not want to talk to our husbands about or we would rather seek advice from each other on how to talk to our husbands about. We all have different parenting styles and I loveeeeee being able to pick up certain teachings that I wouldn’t have thought to do with my own children. I love watching my friends grow their family because I am no longer growing mine (and I am totally okay with that). We talk about how our kids are obsessed with video games or how our kids are starting to walk and talk. We talk about our kid’s fears and share advice on how to help them overcome it and follow it with I just wish my child would stop being a little bitch and suck it up but Ima try that method. Thanks girl πŸ˜‰

These are the friends who come over just to help you clean up the playroom.
These are the friends you call as soon as the baby falls asleep or the kids get on the bus to get a little gossip time.. even if it is only 10 minutes because the baby is fussy and gassy and keeps waking up to try and poop.
These are the friends that let you take a nap and will watch your baby for a little because she has been there before and knows you would do the same for her.
These are the friends that clean up your child’s throw up or don’t mind lending you an extra onsie or entire outfit because of an accident. I do not feel the need to leave my mom friends house or event because my child had a huge freakin blowout in her diaper because I am not embarrassed because she knows what It is like.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, These are the friends that help you clean up after a party. I cannot stress this one enough lol no disrespect to my friends without kids but LAWD knows none of yall even throw your own plates away at a party like if you’re at your mom’s house.

We can go for days without talking, maybe weeks but we all know we are just a text or phone call away. I could not imagine not having my sanity the way I do now. Having mom friends as a mom is like the greatest gift from God (or whatever higher power you believe in). It is so important for your mental health which will help your physical and emotional health.
The best part about being a mom (besides the kids) are mom friends. Leave a comment below as to why you LOVE your mom friends πŸ™‚

My Husband Doesn’t Change Poop Diapers

 

You read that right, my husband does not change poop diapers.Β 

I know what you all are thinking; the moms reading this are probably like, “I seriously can’t believe you do not MAKE your husband change poop diapers.” and the dads are probably like, “What kind of deal did he score because I WANT IN.”

If I am being honest, I want in too… only the Lord knows how many of those stinky things have made me reconsider motherhood altogether but such is life and I’ve made somewhat of a game with it now. No, ew, I do not play with the poop but changing time has been filled with a lot more laughter to make up for all the grossness that seeps out. Anyway, this is about my husband not my fascination with changing time LOL

My husband does not not change poop diapers out of choice, he just can’t.

It’s plain and simple. He just doesn’t change them. Not because he is an awful father or husband or because he finds it demeaning to his manhood. My husband is the most loving father and husband and he respects me as his wife and equal partner. Does he go to work all day and do I stay at home? Yes, but that does not make us different in what we bring to the table. We simply bring different important aspects home. We both take care of the house and take care of our children.Β 

If you clicked on this to find me bashing my husband for not changing diapers then you’ve got it all wrong. This post is to let people know that it is OKAY to not change them.

My husband was man enough to come to me and say, “Look babe, when she comes I cannot change poop diapers. I will gag.” My mother, his mother, and I looked at him and started laughing. We thought he was joking and we reassured him that once the baby came he would be fine. He told us we needed to believe him and he did not want to hear me complaining about it when she came because he warned me. Right, honey, sure.Β 

FAST FORWARD 9 months later and we have this beautiful baby girl who rushed into the world. Hubby was good with the first poops. You know, the ones that look like tar that the babies get right when their born because it’s like leftover whateverness that they got from the womb. Well, those he was fine with. She only had like 2 of them so no biggie.Β 

I stayed home so obviously I got more of the poop diapers than he got anyway. But one night, we were all at my Mother-In-Law’s house (Mila was about 2 months at this point) and I picked Mila up and there it was… poop ALL OVER her back. Ricky (my husband-intro on hubby coming soon) quickly grabbed Mila and took her to the changing table. I thought to myself, “See, I knew he would be able to handle this.” As I cleaned off the poop from the blanket she was on and my arm I hear Ricky yelling my name and asking me to come quick! I thought she fell or something was wrong so I rushed over and he looked me dead in the eye and said, “I cannot do this. I almost threw up on her.” My poor hubby was LITERALLY gagging. I wanted to laugh but I also felt so bad for not believing him. He warned me and I did not listen. Best believe I don’t take anything lightly anymore!Β 

As our daughter got older he would try and help me out when the poop diapers came and every attempt ended with me changing it. I liked doing it. I liked being able to help my husband with something because he is always helping me with things I cannot do or don’t know how to do. Then, the moment came…Β 

I was having a girls day out

I didn’t do anything crazy. I just went to get my nails done. Ricky calls and says, “Hey, where are you?” Me: “I’m at the nail salon getting my nails done.” Ricky: “So like how long will it take you to get home?” Me: “LOL, umm probably in another hour or so.” Ricky: “She pooped and if you were close by I was going to see if you could just change it when you got home but don’t worry, I’ll do it! Love you!” *hangs up* I just sat there and thought omg, he is really doing it. I am so proud! I am pretty sure Ricky’s version did not seem as calm but he seemed pretty put together in my opinion!Β 

From that moment on, anytime I am out he still calls to see if I am close and sometimes I am and tell him not to worry and I’ll be there ASAP! My husband does a lot to take care of us and adores our little monsters to death and would do anything for them so it is OKAY if heΒ cannot/does not change poop diapers.

Leave a comment below and let me know if your hubby or wifey doesn’t do the deed of changing the stinkies! I am here to let you know it is okay! Let’s just take it one poop diaper at a time! LOL

Here is a little peek at my hubba hubba husband *inserts fire heart eye emojis here*

InShot_20190109_205913865.jpg

xoxo,

April – The New Mom on the Block

20 Facts About Me

So, I took my shot on Instagram (@thenewmomontheblock) and used the ask a question feature on my Insta-story. I compiled a list of the questions people asked on there and to my surprise I got more questions than I imagined. If I am being honest, I did not expect to even get a question since I have tried using that feature before and got ZILCH. I’m really glad you guys have reached out and ultimately help me with this post! So without further ado, here is the 20 questions and answers you guys wanted to know.

  1. Q: Why did you want to create this blog?
    A: I created The New Mom on the Block because I wanted to share my thoughts and ideas with others. I wanted to be able to connect to a community lifestyle that I live every day.. #MomLife But ultimately, I created The New Mom on the Block because I was missing something from myself and that was getting back into some of the things I love such as writing and connecting with others.
  2. Q: Why “The New Mom on the Block”? Why not another name?
    A: Funny story about how New Mom on the Block came to light. My husband and I were at the Atlanta Airport waiting to board a flight to Palm Beach for our 1 year Anniversary – YAY US! My husband pretty much grew up down there during the summer as a child and he wanted to show me all of the places he loved. ANYWAY, I am notorious for getting off topic but it’s fun. I’m a great story teller I swear! But, we were at airport and I had talked to him about me wanting to start a blog but I was hesitant because I am very self-conscious about a lot of things and letting others judge me publicly is one of them. I was afraid people wouldn’t like it etc. but I decided that if it had a name, then I could do this. I can create a blog and find my niche somehow. I am passionate about being a mother. It was the one thing I knew I was going to be as a child. While everyone else was deciding what to be in the 2nd grade I wanted to be a mom. My husband and I were talking about different names that may fit me and OF COURSE we got off topic and started talking about how I went to a New Kids on the Block concert not too long ago and being the youngest person at that concert (I’m only 26). I joked and said, “I could totally be The new mom on the block” and we both looked at each other with that look like YASSS QUEEN that is it!!! And that is how the name was born!
  3. Q: What is your toughest challenge on being a mom?
    A: My toughest challenge on being a mom is being a mom to 2 kids. When it was just Caleb and I it was manageable. We could go on little mommy/son dates and do whatever we wanted. Now with 2 my attention is divided and unfortunately, with a baby my attention is not divided equally. It’s been tough realizing that it is okay that my attention is divided and to not beat myself up over it.
  4. Q: What’s your favorite color?
    A: My favorite color is Sea Foam Green! It has been my favorite color since I was about 11 years old. I just think it is such a pretty color and the name is fun too!
  5. Q: How do you like being a stay at home mom?
    A: I have to admit that I hated the idea of being a stay at home mom at first. I was totally against the idea. My husband and I fought for my entire pregnancy about this decision. I have worked ever since I was 16 years old and sometimes I was working 2 or 3 jobs. I liked having my own money and no one else telling me what to do with it. I felt like that freedom would be taken away from me and I didn’t like the idea of me not contributing to the family. I ultimately decided staying at home was best because my kids deserve it. I still did not like it when I realized I was not going back to work and fell into post-partum depression like I could never imagine. It was so tough but my husband was an angel about it and now I LOVE being a stay at home mom. I get to pick Caleb up from the bus stop, let him do extracurricular activities he wouldn’t normally get to do, let him play sports and do summer camps. Mila, I get to watch her grow and hit every milestone. That was something I was not able to do with Caleb since I was a single mom for most of his young childhood so I cherish every moment I have with the two of them and I could not be happier.
  6. Q: Are you and Ricky going to have more kids?
    A: HELL NO! lol excuse my language but we definitely do not want more kids. We love the idea that we don’t have to juggle more that 2 little schedules on top of our schedules.
  7. Q: What are you going to school for?
    A: Accounting! I graduate with my Associates in May! I was originally a Finance Major but my lovely husband convinced me that while Finance is great, I still will never know the accounting side without the accounting degree. SOLD. I decided I wanted to understand all sides of running a business so I majored in Accounting.
  8. Q: What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
    A: OMG. There are so many moments I can’t even determine which is the worst. There was this one time when my husband and I were just dating but we had broken up.. so I guess we weren’t dating? LOL but anyway it was in this 6-months that we weren’t together that a pretty embarrassing thing happened to me. So, I was working a 2nd job for a marketing company that was hired by Marlboro so I worked at bars in Atlanta and Athens and gave out free or $1 packs of cigs. I know, what was I promoting but I was making bomb money and I liked going out on the weekend anyway so it was fine. Well, one night I was at a bar in Buckhead and RICKY WAS AT THE BAR. LIKE WTF right? How dare he show up while I am working and he didn’t know I’d be there. I was so on edge that night after we ran into each other because we would constantly exchange glances it was the worst but the part that was embarrassing was this one time that we locked eyes and I literally fell going up ONE stair… just ONE. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN. I couldn’t even deal with looking at him anymore. He still married me in the end though so I guess it couldn’t have been too bad.
  9. Q: What kind of food do you like?
    A: I am the ultimate foodie! I love all kinds of food. I am half Laotian and half Mexican so there is so much to love from both cultures. I could never not like any food…except for pickles. I hate pickles.
  10. Q: What do you do for fun?
    A: Umm… I am a literal grandma in a 26-year-old body. I am so chill when we don’t have the kids because I don’t know what it is like to just be in silence. Once, Ricky and I just went home and went to sleep for 12 hours! LOL but we like trying out different restaurants and I like to get my nails done, or get my lashes done (@Glambyjai_) or just cuddle up with a nice book or relax in the bath and listen to a podcast or listen to a great book with Audible.
  11. Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
    A: Is this a short joke? I feel attacked, haha. When I am done with school I would ultimately love for us (Ricky and I) to open our own accounting/wealth management firm.
  12. Q: Are you still always late to everything?
    A: LOL, yes. But I am getting better. Ricky helps me stay on track when it comes to getting to places on time.
  13. Q: How does it feel to have 2 kids?
    A: Do you want the good, the bad or the ugly? I’ll just give you all three. The ugly is that I feel exhausted having 2 kids… God bless you parents with more than 2. The bad is they are 10 years apart and already fight with each other and one of them is only 1. The good is that they’re the best kids in the world and as exhausted as I am, I am blessed beyond belief to have two perfect children.
  14. Q: How do you get in the way of your own success?
    A: Man, this one is deep! I love that you asked it though. As stated before I am very self-conscious about almost everything. I grew up not really feeling like I was much and that didn’t go away as I got older. I let the fear of striking out keep me from playing the game but NOT this time. I am paving my way to greatness and setting myself up to win in anything I do. It is a big challenge for me but I know I can do it.
  15. Q: Why do you love Target so much?
    A: You just don’t understand. Target is like my sanctuary. I am not in love with Target, I am obsessed. I am Target’s clingy girlfriend lol. Target has everything I ever need, especially Super Targets. I love walking around with kids in tow and just browsing. Do we always leave with something? Duh, but who doesn’t?
  16. Q: What size shoe do you wear?
    A: lol, I wear a 4-5 in kids. I have baby feet and it sucks! I can never find affordable shoes or shoes on clearance but when I do, BEST BELIEVE I buy them lol
  17. Q: Why did you cut your hair?
    A: It is just hair lol it will grow back. I loved having long hair but my hair was very unhealthy and it needed to get healthy again before I maintain that length again.
  18. Q: How did you and Ricky meet?
    A: No one ever believes us but we met on Match.com! We met, exchanged numbers, talked for a bit, he asked me out, I said yes, then the day came for the date and I chickened out! I told me I couldn’t make it because Caleb was sick! We both were dumb and went back to our exes (and ended up breaking up with them.. AGAIN) but we kept in touch and didn’t decide to go on a date until about a year later!
  19. Q: What are you?
    A: Like, human or my ethnicity? lol I am half Mexican and half Laotian (From Laos).
  20. Q: Do you miss working at BB&T?
    A: Yes and no. I loved my BB&T family but I keep in touch with mostly everyone there so I don’t necessarily have to miss them. I loved my clients but I love my family more.

thanks for reading!

xoxo,

April – The New Mom on the Block

Who is The New Mom on the Block?

Hey there. Welcome to The New Mom on the Block: A Millennial Mom Blog. πŸ‘©β€πŸ’»

I know what you’re thinking… another millennial lifestyle blog trying to tell me how I should run my life… Girl, if I could run my own life properly maybe I’d give that a go but I’m just out here trying to get through the next bottle of wine as fast as I can as I count box tops for the rest of my son’s 4th grade life πŸ˜’

I am April.. April Moore and I’m just a regular, schmegular girl from Gwinnett County, GA. I love my crazy family, being sarcastic, all things tea related, and Cardi B… among other things.

This was not my idea of my first post to share with you all. I was planning out some super EXTRA post that would make it look like I’m a professional blogger instead of a total noob but life is life and I’ll get there soon enough!

But on to the important stuff:

New Mom On The Block is a way for me to share all kinds of stuff with other moms, pregnant mamas, and future mamas, dads, dads with pregnant mamas, and future dads. Essentially, this blog is for EVERYONE. I want to share with you the ups and downs of being a mom, wife, friend, daughter, and woman all in one! I know we can all relate to each other and I really want to hear from you guys if you have similar stories to what I may post or even if you have your own story. This is for US and I love US.

It’s currently 10pm and I’m in bed wondering if this post is enough and also wondering if I’ll get 8 hours of sleep tonight? πŸ€”

With that being said, stay tuned for 20 fun facts about me tomorrow! I’m off to get my 8 hours (2019 resolution that’ll last about 2 days) πŸ˜‚

xoxo,

April – The New Mom on the Block